From the Desk of Madame Zuchini


Madame predicts it will rain. If not in fact, then in your heart. Many of you are enduring trials and tribulations, and you wonder: Why?  Not only is there no answer to this question, it’s not even a smart question. You should be asking Who?  Who did this to me and how can I get on his/her good side? The ancient question passed down through the ages as if by genetics. The God gene. Some say we are born with this inherent desire to seek out our maker, the entity we call fate, luck, disaster – Gawd.  But even Madame in her infinite wisdom cannot answer that question, at least not to everyone’s satisfaction.

Is it this Gawd or that Gawd, the Gawd of my friend Sam for instance, or the Gawd of my creme brulee supplier, also named Sam? (Coincidence?)  Some say there are no coincidences, only synchronicities. I am inclined to disagree, or agree, depending on my mood at the time.  Shall I find purpose if I am thinking about a turtle and then a song comes on the radio about a turtle?  No. I will wonder: who writes a song about a turtle and why am I thinking about one? Synchronicities, a concept made popular by one Karl Jung, a psychoanalyst who invented coincidences, and then, when he found that coincidences had already been invented, changed the name to a pretentious and overbearing one.  In this way, Mr. Jung has thus given coincidences meaning and purpose. But does this new moniker also imbue meaning and purpose, as if by osmosis, to the person experiencing said smarmy new expression?  Oh, to be valuable again. To have Currency.

Life is odd. Mysterious and dare I say mischievous. Is there an all knowing prankster behind these “coincidences”, reasons for the debacles that follow us around like an elderly driver uncertain as to which lane is the left turn lane?  Or is it only in fact a religious person chasing us in an election year?  (Madame has had her share, although most of them only wanted refunds.)

So if it is raining in your heart, take heart. The sun will come out, if not tomorrow then the next, or not. (Sometimes we have to wait awhile.).  We live moment to moment and to expect a full day of moments of happiness is asking too much. Asking too much of whom? You must find that in your rain soaked heart. Whose Gawd? Whose philosophy? We’ll sleep when we’re dead, my dear children. Fear not, Madame is, as they say, “on it”. But answers – answers elude us all, and if any think they have the answer then I say to them: You need a drink, a stiff one. And, as Madame never ignores her own advice, she will join you in a double shot of 100 year old whiskey. Your turn to bring the whiskey. Madame out.

Word of the Day –  Deist. As in: Madame, although a deist herself, finds other deists to be cowards who cannot commit one way or another.  Perhaps they are just keeping their options open. Madame herself believes in being a deist who makes requests to Gawd, as long as they don’t, apparently, involve feeding  war torn African countries.