From the Desk of Madame Zuchini

The News of the Muse

Madame is, as you know, a very spiritual person, in tune and in deed; an enlightened individual with strong ties to the psychic world. I have long opined about the reality of a deity and if it was even such a good idea to  have one. I decided long ago, after much deliberation with my spiritual muses, that a deity does exist and we are more than our corporeal selves. Madame knows that to be  happy one must feel secure and free of fear which only the conviction that there is a benevolent, omnipotent Gaud,  one who can offer an after world of pleasantries and forever moments; the sublime fear free life. Although, christians regularly refer to themselves as God-fearing. Madame is not certain of what there is to be afraid, since gentle Jesus good and mild  is a Gaud of love,  but apparently, the wrath of their Gaud is far more insidious than previously preached. A disgraceful act of duplicity, if you ask me, (which no one has). They hook you on love, and then when you are addicted as to an opiate, they reveal the fear of Gaud requirement as preached copiously in the Old Testament.

Madame does not adhere to the small and angry man of the above, yet Madame  felt strongly that belief in a deity was imperative to living a full and gracious life, whatever one decided their deity might be. Until one day while speaking with one of my more living muses, a close, close, close relative, I was told by this muse that she did not believe in gaud or an afterlife. What? I cried. Then what happens when we lose this mortal coil?  We die, she said flatly and with great satisfaction. Then there is no soul? I queried, gutted to my very core. No, said my muse with certainty. Oh, said I.  Now this muse of mine is not a morally bankrupt person.  She is not a pagan (which only means a polytheistic godhead not of the Abrahamic leaning), she is not a depressed nihilist looking for answers in cigarettes and coffee.  She is a happy,  productive, enchanting person with many, many friends, and she is considered by them to be “sweet”, “charming” and “pink”, if that makes any sense. In other words my muse is happy. But how did she find this happiness without the security of a loving gaud to guide her and in whom she could trust her life and well being?

Imagine if you will, a Pop Tart, happily ensconced in its carboard womb, the object of delight and anticipation for the young girl twirling with said Pop Tart box in hand. As the Pop Tart box twirls in the child’s greedy paw, it achieves sufficient centrifugal force to be  hurled from it’s womb and fly through the air, landing, sadly, under the refrigerator, inedible and alone.  Imagine now, that you are that Pop Tart, a whirling wonder of fruit and pastry, flesh and bone, blood and marrow.  You are twirled by, what to you, is an invisible and omnipotent force, possibly regarded as the hand of gaud.  After flying through the air on the hem of this magical carpet called life, you end up under a huge appliance unfulfilled and alone. Now,  is that proof of the existance of a deity? It is to the Pop Tart. Or, are you like my muse, who calls this invisible thrust that lands her in Pop Tart hell  Free Will. You see, however we believe, Hand of Gaud or Free Will, we always wind up covered in dust bunnies and alone under the refrigerator, no matter  how long the ride takes or how great or small it is. Does it matter if one believes in a deity then?  Was Madame wrong to believe we humans needed a Gaud to be happy, or can everyone, like my strawberry muse, find happiness even in a life devoid of the Great Security of Gaud?  I will leave this little conundrum for you to chew on, dear friends, and let me know what you think.

Madame thinks it is time for a cocktail. Madame out.